Yesterday there was a huge counterfeit goods bust here in NYC. Homeland Security agents confiscated more than $6mill in goods. Someones Christmas got MESSED UP big time! The AP writes,
NEW YORK: Department of Homeland Security agents seized more than $6 million (€4.55 million) worth of foreign-made fake clothing and shoes smuggled into the United States and sold under famous labels including Nike, Sean Jean and Lacoste, authorities reported on Thursday.
Read on here.
I came across this article today which discusses the possibility that by 2030 NYC may experience widespread infrastructure problems. This is pretty much a given considering the rise in the global population, but it is still pretty scary to think about. 2030 is really just around the corner. Major changes will need to be made by then if the city wishes to put these infrastructure worries to rest. The AP writes,
NEW YORK (AP) — By the year 2030, New York City could have so many people straining its infrastructure that it won’t have enough electricity or housing to meet demand and rush hour traffic will last all day.
The rest of the article can be found here.
Some of you may think this is an immature post on my part, but come on, Nich Lachey was a member of a boy band and was stalked by millions of girls for the later part of the 90s. I’m not saying Nick Lachey is a not a good guy. I don’t know him, but he probably is. I do know one thing that, that ‘Michael’ from New Jersey is most likely a very feminine male! I’m just making an educated guess. Feel free to argue with me, but if you do, prepare to get flamed.
This image is from the NY Fox5 News @ 11.
Today, I’m bringing you some classic Daily Hook news. The Virginian-Pilot reports that,
A cargo container that apparently fell from a ship washed up on the Outer Banks of North Carolina today and spilled thousands of bags of Doritos brand tortilla chips on the beach. Scavengers collected the chips, which were apparently still fresh due to their airtight packaging. It was unknown which ship had lost the cargo or to what port it was bound.
This is pretty hilarious. The site also has pictures of the container and close-ups of the Doritos bags. Apparently each bag is still edible because of the airtight Doritos package! Even though losing the container most likely resulted in a loss of money, I think that this will end up to be great marketing for the brand. We’ll see how this pans out!
As you might have recently read, Youtube’s famous and now infamous LonelyGirl15 is a complete fraud. LonelyGirl15 is actually the creation of a dude named Mesh Flinders. If you are unsure of what the hell I’m talking about, you probably don’t frequent the site Youtube. Basically, LonelyGirl15 is a young girl who makes video confessions and posts them on YouTube. She is one of the most popular ‘vloggers’ (video producers) on the site and on the web as a whole. Her videos commonly average over 500,000 views and she is seen as a revolutionary of online video. Now that she has come clean and it has been uncovered that the whole production of the show was carefully orchestrated and followed a script, it is still wildly successful! Viewers and fan of LonelyGirl15 seemed to take things in stride. This is pretty ridiculous, really. Her fans were writing to her asking for advice on emotionally riveting events in their lives and they thought they were receiving advice straight from her. The advice they actually received were from assistants of the production. I think this is kind of comical, but it is crazy to think about. Here is one of her videos:
The BBC gives us Americans, or at least those fat Americans, a huge slap in the face by writing an article about how they are too fat to fit in x-ray machines! What ‘respectable’ traditional news agency writes about that? It is funny I guess. Make sure you read the caption under the picture on the BBC website. The first paragraph reads,
Increasing numbers of Americans are becoming too fat to fit into X-ray machines, US researchers report.
This shit is ridiculous. Lose weight!
What is the world comin’ to mannnnn?
Masturbate-a-Thon 2006 will be the first event featured on UK Channel 4’s “wank week”, and will involve hundreds of Londoners gathering in a hall to have a televised toss-off. Participants will be fapping away in hopes of garnering prizes for number of orgasms and endurance – the current record stands at over eight hours of continuous onanism. In other news, kittens everywhere are getting their affairs in order.
For once, we’re bringing you some real news, but only because it deals with our favorite newspaper, The Onion.
Earlier in the week it was rumored that media giant Viacom was in negotiations to buy The Onion. Today, however, The Madison, WI. based Capital Times newspaper reports that this was indeed a rumor. The Onion CEO, Steve Hannah, and other high level execs posted a memo on the company’s intranet with the title “Factual Error Found on Internet,” clearing up the rumor to The Onion’s employees.
Personally, I think it is great news that The Onion will remain private because that means they can still remain to be “America’s Finest News Source” and not worry about having to censor itself and tone down its content like it very likely might have to do if the paper were under the Viacom umbrella.
The Capital Times also reports that,
“A new design for the print edition is due this week, and plans call for making the printed Onion available in up to a dozen new cities by 2008.”
I’m excited to see that The Onion is expanding into new territories, plaguing the nation with high quality news content, much like The Daily Hook right?
HAHA! Yep, again bringin’ you Current Events that really matter!
MIAMI BEACH, Fla. — A neighbor of the sixth-floor unit where a fire started at the Hotel Versailles on Tuesday claims the man who lives there is a nuisance who did strange things with the 18 TVs he owned that might have contributed to the blaze.
Why the hell does this guy own 18 TVs? I hope he’s at least selling them on the black market. The article continues to say that he used two of the TVs to prop open his door. Last I checked, ONE TV should do that job just fine!
NOTE: This is NOT an Onion article. This is real NEWS at its finest!
Danny Westneat of The Seattle Times writes about some of the ridiculous terror targets that have received grant money from the Department of Homeland Security. He also highlights some of the locations that have made the list in the Seattle area. Some of them are pretty damn funny. He says,
“Two weeks ago, I wrote how Auburn’s SuperMall had been designated as ‘critical infrastructure,’ meaning it’s a terrorist target that is vital to the operations of the U.S. For this it got a $50,000 grant.”
He later continues,
“…here’s more of what the inspector general found passes for “critical infrastructure.” An ice-cream parlor. A tackle shop. A flea market. An Amish popcorn factory.”
An Amish popcorn factory? What the hell? Thats like targeting the Jesus for Jews group that operate in the New York City subway station!
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