The Daily Hook

HAHA! Yep, again bringin’ you Current Events that really matter!

MIAMI BEACH, Fla. — A neighbor of the sixth-floor unit where a fire started at the Hotel Versailles on Tuesday claims the man who lives there is a nuisance who did strange things with the 18 TVs he owned that might have contributed to the blaze.

Why the hell does this guy own 18 TVs? I hope he’s at least selling them on the black market. The article continues to say that he used two of the TVs to prop open his door. Last I checked, ONE TV should do that job just fine!

Read On Here…

NOTE: This is NOT an Onion article. This is real NEWS at its finest!

Danny Westneat of The Seattle Times writes about some of the ridiculous terror targets that have received grant money from the Department of Homeland Security. He also highlights some of the locations that have made the list in the Seattle area. Some of them are pretty damn funny. He says,

“Two weeks ago, I wrote how Auburn’s SuperMall had been designated as ‘critical infrastructure,’ meaning it’s a terrorist target that is vital to the operations of the U.S. For this it got a $50,000 grant.”

He later continues,

“…here’s more of what the inspector general found passes for “critical infrastructure.” An ice-cream parlor. A tackle shop. A flea market. An Amish popcorn factory.”

An Amish popcorn factory? What the hell? Thats like targeting the Jesus for Jews group that operate in the New York City subway station!

Read on…

Today marks a sad sad day for people all across the globe. It is ‘World Jump Day!!’ Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people? The website reads,

“Join us in an attempt to drive planet earth into a new orbit by letting millions of people jump!”

Are you kidding me? Are these people special? What they need to do is jump off a bridge!

Source Here

When the 2006 Darwin Awards are released, I guarantee one of the winners will have burned to death trying to build a Flaming Whip. This website outlines the process of creating such a burning piece of leather in complete detail. Before the site lists step by step directions outlining the process, the author writers,

“You would not want to get any part of this accidentally wrapped around your body.”

Well no fuckin’ shit! But its still gonna happen and I hope it does. I don’t know how I find this stuff but I love reading about it! ..and this is my Darwin Award Winner of the week!

The graph on the left represents all of the mentions of the word “Hipster” on blogs worldwide. The graph on the right represents all of the mentions of the word “Gangster” on blogs worldwide. The conclusion is that gangsters are still more hip than hipsters are gangster!

In other news, The Onion reports that “US Trendsetters Go On Strike.” Here is a little excerpt:

NEW YORK—More than 11,000 trendsetters, tastemakers, movers, and shakers gathered in Brooklyn’s Williamsburg neighborhood Monday to declare a strike against the broad segment of the American population that they say routinely copies their fashions, musical tastes, and sensibilities. Should the strike persist, experts said, it could bring the pop-cultural life of the nation to a standstill.

Read the article here!

The Daily Hook is now a FULL-TEXT FEED! That means, if you subscribe to the feed (Click the big ass orange button) you will now receive full-text articles rather than summaries of each post. Damn I’m good to y’all. Keep readin’ and listenin’ thats all that really matters. Peace

This news is about a week old, but its neighborhood news that YOU care about!

Do to an influx of ho’d up activity at the Lefferts Hotel, the hotel was closed by a court order after a successful undercover operation by the NYPD! When the hotel closed the article writes,

“The closing was accompanied by a parade of prostitutes (as many as 20), each of whom wore assorted multi-colored wigs and hideous make-up. To combat the embarrassment of their shameful predicament they pranced out of the hotel with the feigned grace and dignity of airline stewardesses – carry-on roller bags and beauty kits in tow.”

The article gose on to discuss the ashamed men that were tryin’ to get some quick ass. This is some high quality Brooklyn news.  Read the rest here via the Brooklyn Record!

Props again to The Gowanus Lounge for their committment to high quality Brooklyn journalism!

This guy, Matthew Osborn of Pooper-Scopper.com, makes a living scooping shit out of other people’s yards. It sounds like a pretty shitty job, literally, but this fool is making a damn good amount of money. He claims to have shoveled over 1 million piles of shit. He’s quoted as saying,

“I have had more than a few make me literally gag. Even the dogs wouldn’t go near them.”

Read more here!

Shouts out to this guy Miffo, Miffo.org, and anything Miffo or Miffos related! I have a feeling that this shout out might bring The Daily Hook to a whole new level. We’re goin global baby.

Disregard this post in your readers!

Mr. Z bringin’ you more Low Income Living stories.

The current temperature is FUCKIN’ HOT! I swear I can take a knife and slice the air because its so thick. I told someone I was going to go across the street to the gas station and stick my head in the ice cream chest. They said “Don’t go actin’ like a crack head!” Oh the irony of that statement. I’d blend right in. In fact, there’d probably be four of them with their heads in the ice crest and I’d have to make one of them move to make room!!

If anyone wants to donate an AC, hit me up! wink wink